Geeks and the Holy Grail Read online

  “Is this it? Are we in Lost Vegas?”

  Emrys blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the sudden light. To figure out where they were. When they were. The last thing he remembered was himself and Nimue diving headfirst into the Well of Dreams.

  Now they were in another world. A world with so much light it looked as if it were on fire.

  His gaze darted from sight to sight, jaw slack. He’d never seen anything like this place. Everywhere he looked, there were windowed structures, impossibly tall and lit up brighter than the very sun. Many had moving pictures dancing across them. People, places, words—all larger than life. And then there were the strange horseless carriages. Bright white lights, chasing brilliant red tails, each carrying one or more people in its belly.

  In fact, there were people everywhere, spilling out of buildings, stumbling down the streets. More people than Emrys had ever seen in his entire life. A man shoved by them, without apologizing, while a woman passed from the other side, singing at the top of her lungs.

  But what was really astonishing was what the people were wearing. Or…not wearing, as the case might be. Emrys had never seen so many bare legs and arms in his entire life—and many of the women were wearing trousers. He shuddered, averting his eyes. Did no one in the future have any sense of decency?

  He turned to Nimue. To his surprise, she was twirling in a circle, her robes swirling around her and her eyes lit up with excitement.

  “It’s so beautiful!” she said in a breathless voice. “The most beautiful place I have ever seen! As if the very stars have fallen from the sky and scattered around the earth.”

  Emrys wasn’t sure about that. At first glance, yes, it all looked shiny and bright. But if you looked closer, you realized there was a lot of dirt and decay as well. Like the pile of large black sacks abandoned on the side of the road that smelled worse than dragon gas. And when you got close to the shiny buildings, you realized many of them were caked in grime. Even the ground was littered with cups and paper, blowing around in mini-whirlwinds by their feet.

  The sooner they got out of here, the better.

  “Come on,” he said to Nimue. “We don’t have time to waste. We must find Merlin and the Companions before Morgana does.”

  “But how will we find them?” Nimue asked, scrunching up her face. “This place is huge! Larger than an entire kingdom. And there are so many people!”

  “You kids lost or something?”

  Emrys startled at the sound of a sudden voice. He looked down to see an older man with slicked black hair sitting on the side of the road, his back against a stone building. He was dressed in white from head to toe, accented with a wide gold belt, and wore dark glasses over his eyes, like the ones Merlin had in his cave, even though it was night. By his side was an odd-looking guitar and a white dog dressed exactly like his owner, complete with the glasses.

  “Who are you?” Emrys couldn’t help but stammer.

  The man looked a little offended. “Don’t you know?” he asked, gesturing to his outfit. “I’m the king, baby!”

  Nimue’s eyes widened. She quickly dropped to her knees in a low bow. “Your Majesty,” she said. “I’m so sorry. We had no idea.” She grabbed Emrys, forcing him down with her. He reluctantly got to his knees, though he felt a little suspicious of the man’s claims. If he were really king, why wasn’t he at the Excalibur castle? And why did he look so dirty?

  The man’s eyebrows rose, as if he hadn’t expected this reaction. Then he chuckled. “And who might you be?” he asked. Then he held up a hand. “No. Let me guess. You are playing Merlin,” he said, pointing to Emrys. “And you, my lady, are Queen Guinevere.”

  “Oh no! I am no queen!” Nimue exclaimed, shaking her head. “I am only Nimue. A simple druid of Avalon.”

  The man tapped his chin with his finger. “Nimue,” he said, pondering. “Right. I remember now. That’s the girl who traps Merlin in a tree for a thousand years.”

  “What? No! I would never do something like that!” Nimue cried, horrified.

  “Don’t worry. I’m sure he deserved it.” The man chuckled. “Anyway, you both look great. I had no idea Comic-Con was this week.”

  Emrys scrambled to his feet. This was too strange. “We should probably get going,” he said warily.

  But Nimue refused to budge. “Do you know Merlin?” she asked the king. “We need to find him. It’s very important. And I promise I won’t trap him in a tree.”

  The man’s dog made a move toward her. She stuck out her hand, palm up. The dog sniffed her for a moment, then licked her palm. She smiled. “What a lovely dog!”

  “Eh.” The king waved her off. “Ain’t nothing but a hound dog. Barking all the time.” He paused, giving them a pointed look. Then he shook his head. “What do parents teach kids these days?” he muttered. Then he shrugged. “In any case, if you’re really looking for Merlin, your best bet is the Excalibur Hotel.”

  Emrys’s heart leaped in his chest. Excalibur! Now they were getting somewhere. Maybe this strange king could help them after all. “We’re trying to get to Excalibur,” he said eagerly. “Do you know the way?”

  The man nodded. With effort, he attempted to rise to his feet. Nimue grasped his arm, helping him stand. Once upright, he raised a hand and pointed into the distance. “Do you see that castle?” he asked. “That’s the Excalibur.”

  Emrys followed his finger until his eyes fell upon the most beautiful castle he’d ever seen. Not that he’d seen a lot of castles, but even if he had, he was sure that this one would stand above the rest. It was so colorful—with bright blues and reds glowing in the night sky. It looked like something out of a dream.

  “It’s pretty far from here,” the man added. “You might want to take a cab.”

  “What is a cab?” Nimue asked.

  The man chuckled. “Staying in character, eh? I like it. I’m just sorry I don’t have a pink Cadillac to offer you, m’lady. I can hail you a cab, though. Do you have any money?”

  Nimue shook her head. “I was never allowed to carry coin,” she said apologetically.

  Emrys hesitated for a moment. Then he reached into his robe’s pockets, pulling out a small gold coin. The one his mother had given him at the start of his journey to apprentice under Merlin. It was meant to last all year and provide him with food and lodging in Merlin’s cave. He wasn’t sure what he’d do without it. But what choice did he have?

  He held out the coin to the old man. “Will this do?” he asked.

  The man plucked the coin from his hand. He turned it over, squinting at it closely, then looked up at Emrys, his blue eyes wide with astonishment. “Love me tender!” he exclaimed. “Where did you get this?”

  Emrys felt hollow. “My mother gave it to me.”

  “Will it pay for a cab?” Nimue asked.

  “It might pay for an entire car,” the man replied. “Are you sure you want to cash this in, son?”

  Emrys shrugged, not sure what he meant by “cash.” “We need to get to Excalibur. If this can help…”

  “Money always helps,” the man declared, then broke out into a coughing fit. When finished, he gestured to a small, squat building behind them. “I can go exchange it for you, if you like,” he said. “I know the owner. But I don’t think he’ll deal with kids.”

  Emrys bit his lower lip. The building’s windows were covered in bars, as if it were a dungeon. Above the door there was a glowing sign that read CASH 4 GOLD with a picture of a jewel above it. Ah! Perhaps “cash” was another word for “jewel” in this world, and perhaps jewels were what they used for money.

  “Thank you,” Nimue said before Emrys could speak. “We will watch your dog for you while you’re gone.”

  The man looked a little taken aback by this, but finally nodded. He shuffled over to the store and rang a bell. A moment later, Emrys heard a strange buzzing sound and the man opened the door, disappearing inside.

  Suddenly a worried feeling began to worm inside him. What had they ju
st done? Given all their money to a complete stranger! What if he left the building by the back door, taking their only hope with him?

  Panicked, he ran to the door, grabbing the handle and trying to yank it open, but to his dismay, it seemed to be locked. He tried ringing the bell, as he’d seen the king do, but there was no buzz back this time, and the door remained closed.

  “Let me in!” he cried, kicking the door repeatedly. “Give me my money!”

  A few people walking by stopped to watch him with amused expressions on their faces. “Viva Las Vegas,” one of them muttered, while another handed him a piece of paper that read Gambler’s hotline followed by an odd string of numbers. A third man tried to offer him what looked like a loaf of bread with some meat inside it—which admittedly did look pretty tasty.

  Still, he pushed it away. “I don’t need food!” he cried. “I need money!”

  The man shook his head pityingly and walked away. Emrys turned back to the door. There had to be some way to break it down.

  Suddenly Nimue was by his side. “What are you doing?” she demanded, looking annoyed.

  “He’s taken our money!”

  “Yes. To trade it for what we need.”

  “What if he robs us?” Nimue had spoken of bandits on the road to Camelot. Why couldn’t she see there could be bandits in this world, too?

  Nimue walked over to the dog, dropping to her knees to pet his head. “Why would he do that?” she asked in a quiet voice.

  “Did you look at him? He said he was a king! But he was clearly a peasant,” Emrys declared. “He’s made his home on the streets.”

  “So? Does the fact he has no home mean he also has no virtue?” she demanded, looking offended. “Look at me! I have no coin. And no home to go back to. Do you think I would steal from you?”

  “No. Of course not!”

  “And what of Morgana? She is rich beyond belief and yet hungers for power.”

  He sighed. She had a point. “I hope you’re right,” he said. “Because if you’re not, I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

  Nimue didn’t answer. Instead she picked up the man’s guitar, turning it over in her hands. After a moment, she started strumming it softly, then began to sing under her breath. It was a song Emrys had never heard before and Nimue had a beautiful voice. It wasn’t long before a few people stopped to listen to her. And when she finished her song? Much to Emrys’s amazement, they clapped and left coins at her feet. He quickly gathered them up.

  “Silver!” he cried, turning one of the coins over in his hands. On one side was a portrait of an older man with long hair, tied back with a ribbon. On the other was a building, underneath which was written five cents. “What a world this is! That they give money to you for singing on the streets!”

  Nimue also looked impressed. “I have always loved to sing. But I have never gotten paid to do it.”

  “Sing another!” Emrys suggested. “This way if the king does not return we can still pay for the cab.”

  “Good idea,” Nimue agreed. She started singing again. A few more people threw coins. Soon they had quite a pile of copper and silver. Emrys scooped it all up and placed it in his lap.

  “Look at all of this!” he said, marveling. “We’re rich!” He held out the pile of coins to a woman in a short red dress who happened to be walking by. “Lady! How much money do I hold in my hands?”

  The woman eyed the coins. “Uh, you’ve got like a buck seventy-five there.”

  “Will that get me a cab?”

  She snorted. “It won’t even get you a hot dog in this town.”

  “Oh.” Emrys’s excitement sank as she walked away. He dropped back to the ground. “Well, we already have one of those,” he muttered as the dog in question (who did look quite heated, the way he was panting and all) licked his hand.

  He stared up at the buildings, which were still alive with lights and pictures, and missed the forest back home and Merlin’s simple Crystal Cave. What had they been thinking, coming here without a plan? And what if they couldn’t find Merlin? Would they be stuck here forever?

  “Don’t worry,” Nimue said, placing a hand on his arm. “He will be back. A man will never leave his dog, even for all the money in the world.”

  As if on cue, the door to the Cash 4 Gold shop suddenly opened and their friend hobbled outside, a large wad of paper in his hand.

  Emrys frowned. “What is that?” he asked, gesturing to the paper. “Those aren’t jewels.” He glanced back up at the sign, puzzled. “It’s just paper.”

  “It’s your cash,” the man said, handing it to him. “Sorry it took so long. Turns out your coin is very old and rare. They had to e-mail a picture of it to an expert to verify its authenticity.” He grinned, flashing white teeth. “You should thank your mama, boy. That was quite the gift.”

  Emrys stared down at the paper in horror. “I gave you gold,” he reminded the man. “You traded it for paper?” He thumbed through the small pieces, confusion and anger rising inside him. What had he been thinking? He knew he shouldn’t have trusted this man!

  “But look, Emrys. This isn’t normal paper!” Nimue exclaimed, taking the stack from him and flipping through it herself. “Each piece has a picture on it. Like a portrait.” She looked up at the man. “They are quite exquisite. Are they valuable in your world?”

  The man laughed, giving her a mock bow. “Yes, m’lady. Why, men have sold their very souls for this paper. For when one has it, one can buy anything one’s heart desires.”

  The dog barked. He smiled down at the dog. “Even dog food,” he said, ruffling the beast’s head.

  Nimue seemed to consider this. “How many pieces of this paper would it take to get to Excalibur?”

  “Probably twenty bucks. That’s one of these,” the king said, pulling out one of the papers from the stack. Sure enough, upon closer examination, Emrys saw the number twenty written several times on it.

  Nimue plucked the twenty from the stack. “And how many pieces of paper will it take to get you a good meal and a place to sleep tonight?”

  The man shook his head. “Oh, I couldn’t take your money.”

  “You did us a good deed,” she insisted. “Surely you deserve something in return!”

  The man’s face brightened. “Well, then thank you. Thank you very much,” he said with a grin. He ruffled the dog’s head again. “Come on, Elvis. Let’s get these fine young people a cab.”

  The hotel Excalibur might have looked like a castle on the outside. But thankfully, the rooms Merlin set them up in were simply furnished and had modern plumbing, much to Stu’s relief. Let’s just say he was still a little scarred from his bathroom adventures in medieval England when filling in for King Arthur.

  Their adjoining rooms (one for him and one for the girls) also had a terrific view of the Las Vegas strip. It was just beginning to get dark and the neon lights were coming on, giving the world outside a vibrant, electric glow. Below them was the giant Sphinx that led to the pyramid hotel, and in the distance he could see the replica of the Eiffel Tower. There was also this weird glowing emerald-colored hotel across the street straight out of The Wizard of Oz.

  “I can’t believe we’re here!” he cried, pressing his hand against the glass window. “This is so cool.”

  “Totally,” Sophie agreed, barely looking up from her mother’s spell book, which she’d been thumbing through since they’d gotten to the room.

  Stu longingly watched the people milling up and down the streets, all looking as if they had somewhere awesome to go. He and Sophie had been sitting here, waiting for Ashley to get back with the face cream for what felt like forever, and he was starting to climb the walls with boredom.

  “Do you want to do something while we’re waiting?” he asked. “We could try to find that huge Ferris wheel thing. Or go explore that pyramid next door?”

  “Dude, we can’t leave. We’re waiting for Ashley. And Merlin, remember?”

  “Fine. Then let’s go back
to that arcade downstairs. We can text Ashley and let her know where we are.”

  “Maybe in a bit,” Sophie said with a yawn.

  Stu frowned. “Come on, Sophie! We’re in Vegas! By ourselves! We should be…doing something! Something crazy.”

  “Um, we’re preparing to travel to another dimension to trade skin-care products with the fairy queen,” Sophie reminded him. “That’s pretty crazy. Just saying.”

  “Sure. But that’s later. We’re just sitting here now!”

  He knew he probably sounded a little desperate, but who could blame him? This might be the last chance he and Sophie had to hang out for a very long time. He didn’t want to waste it in a hotel room!

  Sophie set down her spell book. “You’re just sitting here,” she reminded him. “I’m trying to study. Merlin said Fairyland is dangerous, right? I want to be prepared. Also”—Sophie waved a hand at Spike, who was curled up sleeping on a small pillow on the other bed—“we can’t exactly leave Mr. Fire Hazard unattended.”

  Stu hung his head. “Right. Sorry.”

  She tossed a pillow in his direction. “Look, I promise I will whip your butt in Skee-Ball a gazillion times once we get home. But for now? I gotta focus.” She picked up her spell book again.

  Ugh. Her words made Stu’s stomach twist into knots. Because of course Sophie would think that. To her they had all the time in the world. She didn’t know that in just weeks they’d be living three thousand miles apart. Their days of casual Skee-Ball and everything else would be over. Forever.

  He slumped to the floor, his earlier enthusiasm deflating. He tried to remind himself that at least Merlin had bought them more time with the whole Fairyland trip. Otherwise they’d be zapping back right this very second. But try as he might, he just felt depressed.

  “Are you okay, dude?”

  He looked up to see Sophie staring down at him. “Yeah?” he tried. Probably not sounding super okay.

  “No offense, but you’ve been acting weird this whole trip.” She squinted at him. “Is it Ashley? Because trust me, I didn’t want her to come along, either.”