Geeks and the Holy Grail Read online

  She glanced over at Spike now, surprised to see the dragon was watching her. But not with the same suspicion she usually saw in his eyes. Instead he looked almost apologetic, as if he realized his mistake—and how she had saved him.

  “Don’t do that again,” she scolded, shaking a finger at him.

  He lowered his head meekly and let out a small sigh. Sophie felt her heart soften. He doesn’t know any better, she told herself. The poor little guy had spent his entire life deep underground—as a cup. And now he’d been thrown into a new life, not to mention a new time period. And he had been caged and gagged for most of it without any explanation. She thought back to how terrified she’d been when she first got sent back to medieval times and Arthur had turned her into a bird!

  “I know you were scared,” she whispered to Spike. “I was scared, too.”

  Spike chirped miserably. He looked up at Sophie with soulful eyes. On instinct, she reached out—slowly, so as not to scare him. Then she dared to pet his wing. He let her do it, though he still looked a little nervous.

  “There’s a good boy,” she said softly. “Sweet dragon.”

  Spike closed his eyes, letting out another small chirp. Not exactly a purr, like he did when Ashley or Stu stroked him. And he didn’t nudge his head against her hand, à la Toothless. But he also didn’t try to burn her fingers off, so that was something. Maybe their shared near-death experience had brought them closer? Just a teeny bit?

  The door burst open. Merlin poked his head inside. “Okay, we’re good,” he said. “Come quickly.”

  “Um…” She glanced over at Spike. “You might want to carry him.” She didn’t want to press her luck.

  Merlin nodded, scooping the dragon up in his arms and tucking him under his robe so he wouldn’t be seen. Sophie followed him through the door and down a long corridor, exiting into a huge arcade. The place was packed with video games of every kind—old and new. From an intense-looking Star Wars: Battle Pod to an oversized Pac-Man machine. There were carnival games, too. Horse racing and water-gun games and Skee-Ball, with a booth that gave out prizes in exchange for your tickets. There was even some kind of laser maze called the Quest for Excalibur, which looked like something she and Stu would love. A sign above read: WHERE PLAY SAVES THE DAY!

  If only it were that simple.

  “So,” Merlin said, raising his voice to be heard over all the bings, bangs, and boops from the games. The place was packed with kids running all over, many without a parent in sight. “Perhaps now you might tell me what’s going on?”

  “Hey! Can we get a photo?”

  A family of four ran up to Merlin, crowding around him, drowning out Sophie’s answer. Merlin grinned, throwing up his hands. “Of course!” he cried. “I always have time for my fans!” He slung his arms around the mother and father as the father held out his camera in selfie mode.

  “Say ‘sword in the stone’!” the wizard cried cheerfully.

  The father snapped the picture. Then he grabbed Merlin’s hand and pumped it vigorously. “You look great. Really great. Straight out of Hogwarts!”

  Merlin’s smile dropped. “Hogwarts?”

  “Of course! Dumbledore is our favorite!” the mother exclaimed. “House Gryffindor forever!”

  “But I’m not—”

  “Is that beard real?” asked the boy, who was probably around eight. He reached out and gave it a hard tug.

  “Ow!” Merlin cried, now looking seriously offended. “Of course it’s real! I am Merlin, wizard of Camelot!”

  “No, no! We met Merlin upstairs a few minutes ago!” the father assured him. “Look! We even got a photo with him!” He held out his phone.

  Merlin pushed it away. “What rubbish!” he grunted. “If you’re going to pretend to be me, you should at least have the decency to grow a two-foot beard!” He huffed, fluffing out his own beard. “If I were you, I’d call management and complain about that phony baloney. See how he likes having security coming after him for a change.”

  The parents exchanged concerned looks. “Um, sure,” said the mother. “We’ll, uh, get right on that.” She turned to her son. “Come along, Jake. Let’s, uh, leave poor Dumbledore alone….”

  And with that, they hustled away. A little faster than necessary, Sophie thought.

  Merlin watched them go, a scowl on his face. “Dumbledore indeed!” he cried. “Come on! Anyone can see I am clearly a Ravenclaw.”

  Sophie rolled her eyes. “Now I see why you come here for spring break. You’re like a legit celebrity.”

  “You’re even trending on Twitter!” Ashley exclaimed as she and Stu ran down the stairs to meet them. She held out her phone for Sophie to see. Sure enough, #HawkVsDragon was trending, along with several close-ups of her and Spike wrestling in the air. She didn’t know whether to be excited or horrified.

  She glanced over at Merlin. “Uh, maybe we should talk somewhere quieter?” she suggested. “I mean, not that I want to disappoint your public or anything. But we really need your help.”

  Merlin nodded. “Of course. And my apologies,” he said. “I get a little excited being around all these people. It gets lonely back home, deep in the woods. Though I did recently take on an apprentice.”

  “Yeah,” Sophie deadpanned. “We know.”

  Merlin gave her a puzzled look, but waved his hand for them to follow. “This way,” he said.

  Sophie, Stu, and Ashley stepped in line as Merlin led them through the casino arcade, past all the cool carnival and video games. Under other circumstances Sophie would have totally challenged Stu to a round (or ten) of Dance Dance Revolution. Instead they followed Merlin down another set of stairs into a place that, according to its signs, held the Tournament of Kings. A moment later they emerged inside a large indoor jousting arena.

  “Hey! This is just like Medieval Manor!” Stu exclaimed, looking around. “But way bigger.”

  Sophie nodded, impressed. Just like the famed dinner show back home, there was a large tilt yard for jousting down in the pit, surrounded by rows of benches and tables for the audience. Each section of seats was labeled for a different country except the one immediately across from them—which was the Dragon section, go figure. Down on the field, men wearing full suits of chain-mail armor were practicing their moves, presumably for the evening’s show.

  Merlin gestured for Stu, Sophie, and Ashley to take a seat in the back, out of earshot of any of the men on the field. Once they were seated, he reached into his robes and pulled out Spike. “Now,” he said, “will you please tell me why you’re here? And why you have a baby dragon in your possession? And, also, who are you?”

  He tilted his head, looking at Ashley.

  “Oh! I’m Ashley Jones. So good to meet you!” She beamed at him, holding up her pink backpack and pointing to a large button with Taylor Swift’s face on it. “Swiftie for life!”

  Merlin’s eyes lit up. “A fellow Swiftie! Wonderful! Were you here for the concert last night? I had front row seats!”

  “Tragically no. Was she amazing?” Ashley asked. Then she held up her hands. “No, don’t even answer. I know she was. She always is.”

  Stu scrunched up his face. “Er, what on earth are they talking about?”

  “Don’t ask,” Sophie muttered. “Ashley is my soon-to-be stepsister,” she informed Merlin.

  “How lovely! And what about this little guy?” Merlin asked, gesturing to the dragon. “Will he be joining your family as well?”

  Sophie snorted. “No way. We could never afford the fire insurance premiums.”

  Spike chirped, leaping out of Merlin’s arms and settling onto Ashley’s shoulder, clearly his preferred perch. Sophie fought a wave of disappointment. She and Spike may have shared a moment—but Ashley was clearly still his favorite.

  “Merlin, meet Spike,” Ashley introduced. “You might know him as the Holy Grail.”

  Merlin’s bushy eyebrows shot up. “Holy Grail?” he repeated. “That’s a joke, right?”

  �
�I wish,” Sophie replied, eyeing the dragon.

  Spike belched in response. A small fireball shot from his mouth, landing nearby. Stu ran to stomp it out. Sophie sighed. Hopefully Ashley had more of those hair elastics in her bag….

  “So remember that new apprentice you mentioned?” she continued. “Well, let’s just say he might need a little more instruction.” She quickly related everything that had happened in the Crystal Cave.

  “That boy!” Merlin swore under his breath. “I told him to leave my iPad alone!”

  “Yeah, well, if he had left it alone, the Grail would be in Morgana’s hands right now,” Stu pointed out. “Which would be way worse, right?”

  “That would be catastrophic,” Merlin agreed miserably. He looked down at the dragon. “Though this isn’t much better. Without the Grail in its proper form, we can’t get Arthur the medicine he needs. And his reign, as well as the kingdom of Camelot, will be doomed.” He raked a hand through his thick silver hair. “This is what I get for trying to take a teensy little vacation. I leave for one moment and the entire realm falls apart!”

  “Relax, Merlin,” Sophie told him. “We’re still fine. The Grail is here. You can just change it back to a cup and deliver it to Arthur. Easy peasy.”

  But to her surprise, Merlin shook his head. “I wish it were,” he said. “But alas, from what you say, it may already be too late.”

  “Too late? What do you mean, too late?” Sophie demanded, alarm flaring inside her. This, she was not expecting. Getting to Merlin was supposed to be the hard part of the mission. He was supposed to take care of everything from here on out. After all, they needed to get zapped back home before it got dark and their parents started to worry.

  Merlin gave her a regretful look. “Transmogrification—the spell used to turn things into other things—well, that is quite simple. Even a foolish apprentice can make it happen,” he added. “But to change something back to its original form? That is another matter altogether. Sure, I could change the dragon back into something cup-shaped. But it would no longer be the Holy Grail. And it would no longer have the magical properties needed to heal Arthur. It would just be a fancy cup that held water.”

  Sophie stared at him, wondering at first if he might be kidding. After all, he was Merlin. He could do anything, couldn’t he?

  But the look on his face told her he wasn’t joking. Her heart sank in her chest. She glanced over at Stu and Ashley, who looked just as devastated as she felt. After all they’d done to get here—all the risk taken at the airport to smuggle the dragon through. Was it all for nothing?

  She opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a loud buzzing sound. She looked over, realizing Spike was curled up in Ashley’s arms, fast asleep, snoring like a trooper. Guess his little adventure had worn him out.

  “Isn’t there anything you can do?” Stu broke in, evidently not willing to take no for an answer. “I mean, you’re Merlin the Magician, for goodness’ sake! Surely your powers go far beyond trending on Twitter.”

  Merlin lowered himself down onto one of the benches, his hand toying with his long beard.

  “There may be something,” he said in a low voice. “But it would be very dangerous. And you are only children. I would hate to willingly send you into harm’s way.”

  Sophie cleared her throat. “In case you forgot, I am an official Camelot Companion, commissioned by the great Tracey Sawyer—my mother—to serve and protect the once and future king throughout the annals of history. Which,” she added, “I will do. Without hesitation. Despite any risk.”

  Wow. That was pretty good if she did say so herself. She glanced over at Stu. He smiled back.

  “And I once fought a knight ten times my size,” he added staunchly. “And won.”

  “And I…” Ashley began. She frowned, silent for a second. Then a big grin spread across her face. “I once faced down Saint Francis’s entire cheer squad in the Halftime Challenge Competition. And I totally stuck the landing of my round-off back handspring.”

  Sophie wasn’t sure how that specific skill set would prove useful at a time like this, but she did appreciate Ashley’s swagger, so she let it go.

  “What do we need to do?” she asked Merlin.

  Merlin steepled his fingers, thinking for a moment. “For a spell like reverse transmogrification to work, we’d need a very specific ingredient. A rare herb called Agrimony. But it is not found in this world.”

  “So where is it, then?” Stu asked.

  “In the land of Faerie.”

  “Excuse me?” Ashley broke in. “Fairyland? Are you for real?”

  “As real as the beard on my face, I’m afraid,” Merlin said, giving them a grim look.

  Ashley shook her head. “I swear, by the end of this week I’m going to start believing in Batman and Steel Man as well,” she muttered.

  “Um, do you mean Iron Man?” Stu interjected. “Or the Man of Steel?”

  “Is there a difference?”

  “So where is this place again?” Sophie broke in, before Stu could go on a ten-hour-long rant about the differences between Marvel and DC characters.

  Merlin stroked his beard. “The land of Faerie is not easy to get to. It lies beyond the mists on the island of Avalon. In another dimension outside our world.”

  Sophie wrinkled her nose. “I was afraid you were going to say something like that….”

  “It is a long journey and a dangerous destination. Ruled by Queen Morgan le Fay, cousin to Morgana herself.”

  Ugh. Morgana had a cousin? Really? And she was queen of the fairies? Sophie suppressed a shiver, her earlier bravado all but extinguished. “So…not your typical Tinker Bell,” she said.

  “Absolutely not. The land of Faerie is far from some kind of Pixie Hollow. It’s a dangerous place with goblins and other vile creatures who love nothing more than to trick mortals like yourselves. They may act quite welcoming, offering you food and drink and hospitality. But one drop of nectar or one bite of food and they will make you their prisoner for eternity.”

  “So…don’t eat strange food. No problem,” Ashley broke in. “I think we can handle that. I have tons of protein bars in my backpack.”

  “Is there anything you don’t have in your backpack?” Sophie said, marveling.

  Stu leaned forward. “So, we go to Fairyland. Then what?”

  “You must seek an audience with the queen. And you must bring her a gift. It is the faerie way. A gift in exchange for a favor.”

  “What kind of gift?”

  A smile flittered across Merlin’s face. “The queen has a weakness for expensive skin-care products. Specifically a certain facial cream from Dr. Brandt.”

  “A woman of discernment,” Ashley declared. “I like her already.”

  “She used to be able to get this product by mail order,” Merlin continued. “But after a few couriers went missing while passing through the mists, Amazon stopped delivering. She’ll likely be desperate, at this point, for more.”

  “Well, that sounds easy enough,” Sophie said. “We can hit the drugstore before we head out. Piece of cake.”

  “Except…” Stu interjected. “What about our parents? They’re going to freak out if we don’t come home tonight.” Sophie watched as his hand went to the cell phone in his pocket again. Her brow wrinkled. Was his mom still texting him? What on earth could she want that was making him so stressed out?

  “Allow me to take care of the parental units,” Merlin assured him. “A simple spell, implanting a memory of a school-sanctioned, overnight spring break trip they’d forgotten about should do the trick.”

  “Cool,” Ashley declared. “Can you also change my history grade while you’re at it?”

  “I’m a magician, not a hacker,” Merlin said, patting her on the arm. “Anyway, you just worry about the fairies. I’ll take care of things back home.”

  “Wait—aren’t you coming with us?” Sophie asked. She’d just assumed they’d be doing this together, like last time.


  Merlin shook his head. “I can take you as far as the gateway to Fairyland,” he told them. “But I am not welcome through the mists.”

  Sophie expected there was more to this story, but if there was, Merlin didn’t offer it.

  “Okay,” she said, trying to put together a plan. “So let’s say this Morgan le Fay lady agrees to hand over the goods. What then?”

  “I will prepare you a potion that will transport you back to the human realm,” Merlin said. “We’ll turn the dragon back into the Grail and we’ll deliver it to Arthur, as promised.”

  His gaze shifted to the entrance of the arena. Two security guards had entered and were looking around. Merlin hastily rose to his feet. “I shall begin work on the potion immediately,” he said, keeping his voice low. “It will take a few hours to brew. In the meantime, I would be happy to provide you with a couple of hotel rooms to freshen up in, as well as tickets to tonight’s Tournament of Kings. It’s a wonderful show.” He made a face. “Even if they do use a subpar Merlin who can’t even be bothered to grow a proper beard.”

  “Sweet!” Stu declared. “I love a good joust.” He turned to the girls. “Should we hit the drugstore for our skin cream first?”

  “Actually, you take Spike and hide him,” Ashley said, pushing the dragon in his direction. “I’ll take care of the face cream. And the glitter, of course.” She turned to Sophie. “You want to come?”

  “I’d better not,” Sophie said apologetically, surprised that Ashley would even think to invite her. “I’ve got to review my mom’s spells. We may need them when we’re in Fairyland.”

  Ashley nodded. “Take good care of Spike while I’m gone,” she said, reaching out to pat the dragon on the head. “Not going to lie, I’ll be a little sad to say good-bye to him when this is all over.”

  “Right?” Sophie agreed, feeling a little wistful. “He may be smelly, but he’s pretty cute.”

  Spike grinned up at the girls, then let out a proud belch. They laughed, pinching their noses and waving their hands to blow the odor away.

  “Spike!” they cried in unison.

  And for once they were in agreement.